so far

so far it has been a roller coaster...

I have not updated here because I've been too busy living life. I have had a crazy, wonderful summer full of blessings. God has truly blessed me with time, something we too often forget the value of.

So what has happened? Before I left I felt like I had to hold it together for everyone. I felt like there were these unspoken expectations on me that I had to live up to. So I held everything in and shut out any doubt in my mind about what this new life was going to look like. People were saying goodbye a month in advance, and even as I drove away a month later... I was absolutely fine. It was when I had to drop my roommate (who rode with me all the way to training so I wouldn't have to do it alone) off at the airport-that was when I lost it all. All the emotion I had been suppressing  (and didn't know I was suppressing) just came out of me as she held me tightly and told me about all the amazing things I was going to do. And then she left too, and then I felt very alone.

And it's in those moments when you feel totally alone that you realize how much you need Christ. How much a higher power gives you a sense of purpose, and a feeling of fullness. How when you're separated from your family and friends who are like family...it's all going to be ok because Christ goes with you wherever He calls you.

I have now officially begun military training. This means early mornings and late nights...not exactly what I was acclimated to, but am slowly getting the groove. It's standing out in formations with blazing heat beating down on you. The upside is there is less yelling than I thought there was going to be.

As for the phase I'm in now it's been a lot of ups and downs. I will sometimes have a bitter attitude towards the town I am in and the military in general...and sometimes I have glimmers of hope with a feeling of peace. I guess it's like any big life changes, you take things as they come.

The good Lord giveth and the good Lord taketh away...but blessed be the name of the Lord!

Please pray as I take on this new challenge...pray I can take the ups as well as the downs and be transformed into newer and truer charity...that is what I hope to take as I am training for these next few months.