I Guess this is Life...Sexual License

Joannie says it perfectly the ways she puts it:

"I’m sick of complacency. WAKE UP, PEOPLE.

Eve is in the Garden. Adam is beside her. The devil is telling her that freedom is doing whatever the hell she wants it to do. And instead of saying, “No, actually, that’s Hell,” Adam is ignoring the whole exchange.

The devil is telling Eve that making it illegal to kill babies after they’re 20-weeks old is “anti-woman.” He’s telling her that passing a law so that abortion clinics need to have the same health standards as surgical centers (because last time I checked, that’s what pro-abortion advocates say happen there — “safe surgical procedures”) is “bad healthcare.”

And all Adam does is tweet his support for Eve and then pats himself on the back for being pro-woman.

We’re in the garden with the serpent. He’s lying. We’re buying it.

And no one seems to care" -http://joaninordinarytime.wordpress.com/

It's true, our nation has become spoiled when it comes to sexual licensing. We have fooled ourselves into thinking we are entitled to have sex whenever, wherever, and with whomever we please, just because we are physically able to. It doesn't make sense. We have an intellect and a will, we make choices, we have a conscience. Sexual licensing is borderline rape. Rape of ourselves, of that precious intellect and will we were given freely and rape of the other person to see them as an object of sexual pleasure.

Christopher West has the perfect analogy here. When you buy a car for the first time, the sticker on the gas tank says "diesel only". Why? Because the person who built the car knows the vehicle inside and out, he knows what makes it run best. You wouldn't look at that and say "hogwash, I'm putting unleaded in here". That would cause car troubles. The sticker isn't meant to limit your freedom, it's there to help your car run the way it's meant to. Same with God's plan, He sets up the moral life not to limit your freedom, but to bring you happiness.
If you're a parent, what do you do to protect your child who is play in the yard? You put a fence around the yard to keep the child safe. The fence is there for their protect not to limit them. True freedom isn't doing whatever you want. True freedom  is to do whatever's good, whatever's keeping with the truth of humanity.

Man only finds Himself when he makes a sincere gift of himself (Matt 22:37-40). Adam could not make a sincere gift of himself to a raccoon or a pigeon. Lets go back to the garden, Adam is the first man ever created...there he is and he's alone. God has created all these beautiful things, the birds of the air, the animals on the ground....yet he is lonely. Why? Why is Adam different from the animals on the ground or the birds of the air? He is different from them, they weren't free to determine their own actions like Adam was.

Then God puts Adam to sleep and takes a rib from him. Well it's been explained to me that translation wise things have gotten kind of lost. "Deep sleep" would have been better translated into ecstasy. And for Jews bones signified the whole human being. So out of Adam's ecstasy God created a whole human being that Adam looked upon and knew...at last..it was bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. Something he would give his life for.

Adam looked at himself, and then looked at Eve. He realized his profound reality: "We go together, God made us for each other. I can give myself to you, and you can give yourself to me, and we can live in a life-giving communion of love"-the image of God's plan for marriage. This is why they were naked and felt no shame. There's no shame in loving as God loves, only the experience of joy, peace, and a deep knowledge of human goodness.

This is why sexual licensing does not make sense. It is not ordered towards the good of the other, but rather a self desire that rises out of lust. It is not self-giving but taking and exploitation. It is the part of the garden when Eve eats the apple because selfishness arises out of her. The serpent promises that she will be like God if she eats of the tree. Little does Eve know she already was in the image of God, and loving like God, Satan was selling her something she already had. The lies that get told to us are exactly that...LIES. They are not there to bring us to heaven.

And I am sick of people buying the lies and telling me to believe them. That if I somehow don't think the same as them, if I don't see this new step as "equality", that if I don't conform...that I am somehow less of a person. That my opinion doesn't matter, that I need to shut up and let things go. That's not the way I operate. Freedom is NOT doing whatever the HELL I want. Freedom consists in doing the good, doing the better for society.

Spiritual RESET

Sometimes I wish there was a reset button for my spiritual life. I could press it and be renewed, kind of like going to confession. You see there's a thing called acedia, or the "noontime devil" as the desert fathers referred to it. It's not as drastic as the "dark night of the soul", rather it's the little annoying occurrences throughout the day that rob you of faith. It's where you feel God, but you just don't care to act on faith and trust, and ask for grace in a situation. It fosters self-justification, casual judgmentalism of others, and leads down a path of pride.
The desert fathers referred to it as the noontime devil because at noon is when the sun is up and hot leaving one's energy drained. Knowledge of the world is of little use when in this state. Any kind of consolation found in the cool of the morning is nonexistent in the noontime heat.
Hence the reason I wish for a reset button on my spiritual life. So I can press it and be out of my acedic nature, have it bring me back to the cool morning I knew well and rejoiced in.
I've lately been realizing how acedic I've become through the beat-downs life has brought me. I have not lost faith, I've lacked luster in proclaiming it, rather it's become a task I must fulfill. *reset please*
But I guess that's the point of faith, we hope for something better. If we know not bad times, how would we know the good. Would the good mean anything to us had we not experienced the bad? We have to trust that change is within us, even if we feel stagnate. For when we feel that pull, we shall surely go for we don't want to be stagnate.
"if only you would say I CARE"
"I don't care"
-Pierre:A Cautionary Tale in 5 Chapters

Another temptation, to which presumption opens the gate, is acedia. The spiritual writers understand by this a form of depression due to lax ascetical practice, decreasing vigilance, carelessness of heart. “The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.” The greater the height, the harder the fall. Painful as discouragement is, it is the reverse of presumption. The humble are not surprised by their distress; it leads them to trust more, to hold fast in constancy. -CCC2733

Yup looking for a spiritual reset

We Participated, We are Forgiven

This was an article I found written by Abby Johnson (former director of a Planned Parenthood). It goes as follows:

Note: Abby Johnson is a former director of a Planned Parenthood clinic who converted to the pro-life cause. She has since founded a ministry, And Then There Were None, which is dedicated to helping workers in abortion clinics transition out of the industry.

May 14, 2013 (LifeSiteNews.com) - I am vehemently against the death penalty. Now stay with me…this is not a post about my opinion regarding that. You can disagree or agree with me on that some other time. I did want to share a little bit about why I take the words of prolifers so seriously. I have heard so much vitriol spewed from the mouths of "Christian prolifers" since the Gosnell trial has concluded. I feel like I must address it.

When I was confirmed as a Catholic, I chose Mary Magdalene as my confirmation saint. I felt an immediate connection to her. She had sinned so much…and was forgiven in even greater amounts. She knew she didn’t deserve forgiveness…but she received it anyway. And because of this, she clung to Christ. She knew she was nothing without Him.

I have also done my fair share of sinning. And I have also been forgiven much more than I deserve. I abused and betrayed women in the worst possible way. I convinced them to kill their children. Did I slit the necks of children after they were born? No. But, I was an accomplice to murder. Thousands of times…women I knew, women I didn’t, my friends, even my family. I lied to people. I lied to women when they came to me for accurate information. I was among the worst sinners…those that help to take and destroy life. I am no better than Kermit Gosnell.

I took my own children’s lives…twice. Not because I was coerced. Not because I didn’t know better. But because I thought children would be an inconvenience to my lifestyle. I am responsible for their deaths…no one else.

So when someone talks about Gosnell and says things like, “murderers and people like him don’t deserve to breathe the same air as I do,” or "I hope he burns in hell," it hurts a little. Because that was me. But I am still here…breathing that same air…and trying to spend my life righting my wrongs. And it’s not just me. I know they hurt others like me, as well. People who have left the abortion industry and will work every day to recover from their sins. People who are still in the industry and think they will be shunned by the pro-life movement…maybe they would reach out to us if they knew we would accept them. I am always terrified that clinic workers will see some of the words from prolifers. I have been told by several former workers that they will never come forward with their stories because they are so scared of how they will be treated by us...by us...the supposed "Christian" movement. Their fears are real and legitimate.

I know some will say, “but you repented, that is the difference.” But what if I hadn’t…not yet. What if I was still inside the abortion industry? What if I was still an accomplice to murder? What if it took me longer to realize the truth? Do I deserve to die? Are we saying repentance is about our timing? Certainly, it is not about us. It about God and His perfect timing.

Right now, I shouldn’t be in this movement. I should be the COO of the 4th largest revenue generating Planned Parenthood affiliate in the country. I should be overseeing the largest abortion facility in the Western Hemisphere. I should be making six times the amount of money that I make in the pro-life movement. But I’m not. Why? Because of forgiveness. Because of mercy. Because of grace. Because of God. And because of real pro-lifers. The people I turned to accepted me for me...baggage and all. They knew that I was a broken person, and they loved me anyway. They knew I needed significant healing, and they helped to provide it.

I remember one story in particular which always makes me tear up when I think about it. One of the ladies, Karen, that immediately befriended me after I left Planned Parenthood, was asked a question by a reporter. He asked her, "So, what was Abby like before she became pro-life? I mean, how nasty was she?" Karen's answer was so genuine, and so Christ-like. She simply said, "I don't remember that person. She is a new creation in Christ. I won't talk about her past, I only want to talk about her future." Wow. What grace. What forgiveness. She could have really spilled the beans on me, but she chose not to. Why? Because she truly loved me...and she always had, even while I was working at Planned Parenthood. She always believed the best in me, always believed that my conversion would happen.

It was Christ who changed me. It was the merciful and compassionate words of His people. It was no condemnation. It was not prayers that I would burn in hell. It was not those who yelled and called me names. It was the words of people like Karen. Those who prayed that I would, one day, walk out of that clinic. Those who had constant faith...even when that faith was a struggle to have. I am here because of them and because of their Christ-like witness.

Don't we want that for every abortion clinic worker and abortion provider? Don't we want that for Kermit Gosnell? I smile every time I imagine his conversion. What a heavenly victory that will be! Can it happen? If you say no, then you do not know the God that I do. My God is in the business of miracles. And my God does not want anyone to suffer in hell. He wants all of his children to come to him...yes, even those of us "monsters" that are in or have been in the abortion industry.

Hate comes from hell. Mercy comes from Christ. When we have hate in our hearts, our spirits are damaged. Be careful with your words. Not only are you a living witness of Christ and His truth, but you could put your own soul at risk. "Anyone who hates a brother or sister is a murderer, and you know that no murderer has eternal life residing in him." 1 John 3:15 When we hate, we are no better than those who kill.

I am not the sweetest person. I’m not the one who catches all the flies with honey…sometimes I am all vinegar. What do you expect? You expect the most tender-hearted to work in the abortion industry? Maybe we aren’t like all of you. Maybe we aren’t the most kind-hearted. Maybe you don't understand how we could do what we have done. But those of us that leave…we are fighters. We are willing to take hits for our former sins. We are willing to stand up in places that are uncomfortable. We are willing to be bruised by others because we know that we have to…we know that will be the price we pay…it just hurts more when the bruises come from those who should be rejoicing in our repentance. We are passionate. We don’t waste time beating around the bush…not when it comes to life…especially the lives that we helped take.

Those of us that have worked in the industry all live our lives with a constant burden. One that will not be free from us until we reach heaven. We can’t let our burden slide off of our shoulders, it is what keeps us on fire. It reminds us of why we fight so hard. We have seen death and evil in a way that most haven’t…and we participated. We are forgiven.

So, should I be able to “breathe the same air as you?” That’s not really up to me to decide. But if you say things like that, know that a small piece of our heart is broken, and I have to believe that it grieves Christ. But even if you break our hearts, we forgive you. Even if you bruise us, we forgive you. He who has been forgiven much, loves much. And we love a lot. I am eagerly awaiting the day when I can call Kermit Gosnell a former and REPENTANT abortion provider.

~~~~~~

I think she writes beautifully about the power of forgiveness in the eyes of our Father.

Whether we're willing to admit it or not, we take a part in sin every day, with every breath we breathe. We are no better because we sin too, even if in a different way.

Pope Francis as well said even atheists can go to heaven, that is because we will never know the disposition of a person's heart based on what we see on this earth. Forgiveness is not open to our interpretation, it's open to God's love and mercy which is for everyone.

"...God did not make death, nor does he rejoice in the destruction of the living."
-Wisdom 1:13

A View From the Son

It's a lens I wish I could see through, especially during this time right now. It's the perspective I wish I could see from at the moment in my life. To see what God's plan is, and why He does the things He does.

I've lost someone very dear to me, and not only did I lose them they suffered tremendously. It's hard to put into words the emptiness, extreme sadness, and the love into words. This person (from my perspective) was a saint. They prayed for everyone's salvation no matter their personal feelings. They put their love into actions. And when I had little faith, this person showed me in small loving ways the beauty that is Christ. When it came time for this person to suffer, they did so willingly, offering up anything for the kingdom and redemption of souls.

I am struggling because I never really showed this person what they meant to me. Long before I went to daily Mass, knew what adoration was, went to seminars on the faith, or had the sisters...I had this person. They taught me about faith when I was least expecting it and when I least wanted it. Their death has me facing a lot about myself that I don't think I am ready to face. It's all just been a blur, and I ask God that He just keep her close to Him in heaven. And my heart aches with an ache I've never had before. I want to be happy because I know this is what she wanted, to suffer and enter the gates of heaven. I guess I just don't understand how to heal the hurt and emptiness left behind.

Someone once told me that we must not be ready for heaven if God has not taken us there. That somehow God has a plan we must be a part of so no matter how ready we think we are...it's actually kind of prideful to think we're ready when God (author of all life) says we stay. And so I look at this person, and no wonder God took them. They were ready to go, without thinking, without blinking an eye she was ready. Of course there were the human things, she has a child who is stuck between the middle of heaven and this world, and I think it was hard for her understand that at this point she will be better with her prayers in heaven than her work on earth.

Working with the sisters, I've seen them struggle with this idea that their work (being their prayer) is something they'll have to willingly give up when the Father beckons. That as they grow old they must accept that suffering, they must willingly offer their souls a little at a time as God teaches them reliance on Him. This was what I witnessed in my friend. She will have to accept her work in heaven as opposed to the human she knows on this earth. And then I of course get reminded of my favorite quote:

I would like my community, my church, my family, to remember that my life was given to God and to this country. That the Unique Master of all life was no stranger to this brutal departure. And that my death is the same as so many, but they must know that I will be freed of a burning curiosity and, God willing, will immerse my gaze in the Father's and contemplate with him his children as he sees them. This thank you which encompasses my entire life includes you, of course, friends of yesterday and today, and you too, friend of the last minute, who knew not what you were doing. Yes, to you as well I address this thank you and this farewell which you envisaged. May we meet again, happy thieves in Paradise, if it pleases God the Father of us both. Amen.

She is released of the burning curiosity embedded onto our souls, that of heaven. She is immersing her gaze in our Father's, and contemplating our very redemption.