The anti-climatic post

So I've been here for a little over a month. I must say, I had this idea of grandeur in my head of what military nursing would be like, and it's been well...anti-climatic.

I had these ideas of blown limbs, crush injuries, you know gory gory stuff...and most of all, souls begging to be healed. I thought it would be something like this:

Although I'm not a priest, but you get the idea. Healing and bringing souls to Christ in their most desperate situations.

What I've found it to be is a whole lot of paperwork, training, and computer modules (all of these being very lame in my human head). What I thought was going to be an adventure has turned into ordinary and mundane tasks. The souls I work with are not even interested in Christ or healing...but rather getting through another day. Nothing "exciting" seems to be going on.

But in spite of it all, I feel very spiritually at peace. There's more silence, and life seems to be moving at a slower pace than I expected it to, and it's kind of nice. It's like God breathing soft love into my heart as he presses pause on the world. He's taking my anxiety and fears so that I may truly trust. Maybe I don't do the best job of just relaxing, but it's become a start.But I pray that when the time comes for me to walk to the broken and bloody person thrown from their vehicle, I may be the hands and feet that offer them the consolations of heaven.

So I'm waiting to see how exactly all these things will shape me into the person Christ is asking me to be. How will I fit into His plan, how will I get into heaven? How are these ordinary mundane tasks and checklists going to get me to heaven? How do you get people to start living their lives to their fullest potential and not merely getting by passively?

On a bright note my post finally has a priest after a 3-month absence. I guess I can leave the soul healing to him and finish my paperwork.

And for those looking for good music here's my suggestion:
http://www.mariemiller.net/
We're never alone!