a little catch-up

Well what can I say, too many things in life changed, and I was too busy living to blog about it.

I got married-something that took a lot of prayer and a lot of trust in God. It's something I learn more and more about everyday, and reflect on how holy of a vocation it can be.

We went on our honeymoon 2 months later (you know after the holidays and stuff since that's what nursing calls of you).

And we are expecting our first child...all in a matter of 3 months life has drastically changed.

What doesn't change? Love of God.

What I first found out I was pregnant, I did not accept it as God's will. It's so easy to toot a pro-life horn, but so different living it.

The reason I didn't want to be pregnant...PRIDE. Well if I had to pick one it might as well be the root of ALL evil right?

You see I was prideful that I, a nurse who had tracked her cycles for 2 years, couldn't make NFP "work" when it finally came time to put it into practice. And now all the birth-control-loving people at work would say they were right and I was wrong. If you really want to "control things" you have to take it into your own hands.I felt like I had something to prove.

The more I thought about it, the more I realized I don't want to control things. Anytime I've ever done that in my life it's NEVER worked out. I want God to control things.

More so if I am going to live the pro-life message, that's what NFP is for. To say I don't know what will truly happen, but I trust and I am open. Even when I don't want to be open or I don't feel very trusting, I WILL. It's holds not only my soul and conscience accountable, it holds my husband's as well.

And what was I trying to prove? That God's plan is the best, and that being open to His plan brings so much JOY. I truly feel that in my heart, and I pray that the people I work with see that.

Some days it's really hard working in the healthcare industry that says  a child's life is only worth something when it's wanted. That ALL life is only considered human insofar as much as it's deemed wanted or useful.

Well haha I work in that industry, and I don't buy that lie. Now it's time to lie a life contradictory to that.